Sitting Chiliza Nellie’s sister Ruth died in 2007 and her mother anaTembo in 2009. We have wanted to complete their passage to the spirit world by getting their tombstones built and honour their passing. The chiliza usually marks the first anniversary of their death. The main room in the house of the departed is emptied of all chairs and other furniture. The floors are covered in mkeka and mpasa, the mats used to dry the corn flour or sleep on. The women elders gather in the house and other mats are placed in a shady spot outside for the male elders. For 3 days the elders sit and host people from the neighbouring villages and others who have come from town to join in the commemoration. The visitors sit with the elders and travel to the grave-site to observe the progress on the building of the tombstone. The younger women busy themselves at the kitchen brewing thobwa the sweet maize beer that is sipped all day long by the many visitors, elders and those working on the tombstone. They also prepare the food for all those present at mealtime. They and the children sit in the shade of the tobacco shed and pitch in with the cooking, cutting wood and general duties. The young men help at the graveyard, watching and working when needed. Occasionally, one will come back with a progress report for the elders. As I sit in the shade on the porch with the elders, I can hear the women inside the big house chattering and laughing. The headman from Chiwayu, the neighbouring village who is also a cousin comes to pay his respects and greets us all one by one, then heads to the mats in the shade to sit in respect for a couple of hours. If we had followed the custom closely, we would have performed this rite on the first anniversary of their death. Within that timeframe, it provides an effective means of social solidarity and closure for grieving relatives. However, getting the funds together and organisational matters kept delaying our observance. It is quite a feat of administration and requires many meetings and much consensus building to pull all the pieces together for building the tomb, brewing the thobwa, preparing the food and networking to let everyone around know what is happening. Even when we thought we had all the plans in place, we had neglected to involve the village members away in town. They were very disappointed about the timing and requested a delay to let them get home to the village, but the plans on the ground were already so far evolved that it wasn’t possible to call it off. Special arrangements will be made for them to join in when they can make it home to the village. Everyone sits on the mats as equals. There are no chiefs or big people in the face of death. The elders are accorded great respect and the chief and senior women are impeccable hosts and hostesses, ensuring that all the protocols are followed. Everything flows so smoothly that it seems to be a familiar activity which belies the amount of planning and energy that went into the exercise. Beria anaTembo Saka and her daughter Ruth nee Saka Chikapa have been well honoured and are surely happy with the way their memory has been respected. 26sep12